Monday 4 April 2011

Mini person, mega mess

Casting my mind back to those anxious weeks prior to the birth of Baby B last year, I can recall much of the plentiful advice that came our way from the likes of parents, friends, midwives and random strangers.

Buy this, buy that, avoid that, avoid this, push here, don't push there etc etc.

At no stage, however, did anyone give us any tips on coping with the mind boggling, never ending piles of assorted mess that are inadvertently created by a five month old baby.

Indeed, it was all very well for our antenatal classes to run through the intricacies of childbirth and to let us play with assorted birthing instruments, but where was the lesson on tackling the ever present smell of soiled nappies in the home?

Or how about the worksheet on finding time in the day to hang out, get in, fold up and put away the piles of washing?

Talking of washing, we never used to do that much - two loads a week at a push - but now, with our dribbler in tow, we seem to be matching the Park Lane Hilton for the amount of laundry we're facilitating on a weekly basis. And is there a worse household chore than putting away the washing? I think not, with perhaps the exception of unpacking the dishwasher (a task as annoying as it is fiddly). Oh, and duvet covers...the devil's bed linen!

It's not that we're being messy or lazy either, the mess just seems to appear. Like painting the Golden Gate bridge, it's an endless venture. So, I take my hat off to all those mums and stay-at-home dads out there who juggle the hoovering, washing, cooking, tidying, dusting (don't bother), folding, hanging, ironing, cleaning, packing, unpacking and putting away.

I sympathise with you all, my brothers and sisters, let's keep the nation's family homes spotless. Or, at the very least, let's remember to empty the nappy bin before it overflows and resembles a small landfill site!