Plasters, grazed knees and black eyes!

Reflecting on the moments in my own childhood that resulted in considerable stress and anxiety for my poor mother, most of them concerned myself or one of my brothers falling over or running in to something in a sudden and unexpected fashion.

It's not that we were accident prone children, it was more that we were boys who enjoyed messing around and who always massively underestimated the consequences of our actions. Thankfully today we're all fit and healthy but, back then, my mum must have torn her hair out at times at the sheer stupidness of our actions.

For instance, growing up in the countryside in a remote house, miles from the nearest doctor, we often suffered power cuts and it was on one such occasion that I decided to use a Swiss Army Knife to prise open a torch that wasn't working. The result was that Mum, having to scurry arond finding candles while dealing with three children in a pitch black house, was suddenly presented with the site of her first born bleeding profusely from the finger he had almost severed.

Other occasions that spring to mind included my youngest brother breaking his leg as a result of middle brother encouraging him to leap from a climbing frame and then whipping away the cushions as he was about to land. Then there was middle brother being knocked over and knocked out by a dog, my running in to the corner of a table and requiring stitches, my breaking my arm playing football, youngest brother smacking his head on a pavement, middle brother ending up with a black eye after running in to a car door and my taking a layer of skin off my leg on a so called 'death slide'!

None of the above, it must be said, resulted from any lack of parental care whatsover, they were just accidents that happened and we now all proudly sport the scars of a loving, boisterous and typically boyish childhood.

Nevertheless, the fact that it is national Child Safety Week this week has made me realise that, with my own child on its way in October, it's absolutely essential to ensure that we do as much as we can to keep our little one as safe as possible Check out the campaign's excellent website for more details.

In the meantime, if there's one piece of advice I can pass on, it's don't let your son near a Swiss Army Knife in a power cut!

Mother-in-law's intuition

Walking through the front door last week, having just spent an evening with her mum, Mrs B announced very matter of factly that; "we're having a girl."

Having been present at the scan myself and now recalling a distinct lack of gender-related information, this took me somewhat by surprise. Clearly picking up on my confused expression, Mrs B clarified matters:

"Mum thinks that the bump is round and that the way I'm carrying it means it's a girl. She's 100% sure."

Well, that's that then, best pop down B&Q and stock up on pink paint, or should we? Clearly my mother-in-law knows what she's talking about, she did procuce two daughters of her own afterall. Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder what her insightful observation is based on? Is there any scientific truth behind the many old (or not so old) wives tales that surround pregnancy? Or do all mothers just know, and should we simply bow down to their superior senses in this department?

Pregnancy Myth No.1: Carrying high or low indicates gender
The myth: If you're carrying high it's a girl, low and it's a boy
The science: Absolute rubbish! the way you carry is down to muscle and uterine tone and is no indicator whatsoever of sex
The reality: 50/50 chance of being right!

Watch this space for more myths, I feel a series coming on!

Football - a story of dads and sons

As I sit here this afternoon having witnessed Germany lose to Serbia - just one day after France lost to Mexico and a mere hours before England take on Algeria - it got me thinking about how unpredictable and emotional the beautiful game can be. Which, in turn, reminded me of a cracking book I read recently; You'll win Nothing With Kids by Jim White. An hysterical insight in to one dad's adventures as coach of his son's football team!

If you thought passions ran high in the World Cup, prepared to be shocked at the emotions on display on local parks every weekend !

Clued Up Dads rating: *****

Wife loses husband in B&Q!

Being pregnant undoubtedly has many wonderful side effects for women as their bodies grow and change with the joy of carrying a new life. However, unfortunately there are also a few down sides for the fairer sex at this special time, one of which came to the fore last night as Mrs B and I made an impromptu trip to B&Q.

Working our way around the giant store, Mrs B got sidetracked looking at gardening tools and, safe in the knowledge that the only reason we had come in to the DIY mecca was for some fencing, I made my way to the vast and unmissable array of fencing products a few metres further on.

As I perused the overly complicated range of products, looking for the one thing I had in mind, I eventually realised that Mrs B was not by my side. No reason to worry, I was confident she was busy choosing gardening tools. However, as the minutes passed and after I had made my fencing choice, my very pregnant wife was still nowhere in sight.

Now peering up and down the aisles to see if I could see her, and carrying a weighty piece of wood under each arm, I realised very quickly that she had wondered off and was nowhere to be seen.

Little did I need to worry, however, as a couple of minutes later the relative peace and quiet of B&Q was shattered with a PA announcement:

"MESSAGE FOR MR B, PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK WHERE YOUR WIFE IS WAITING FOR YOU!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Never, in my entire life, had it been necessary to locate me in a public space via the assistance of a man with a microphone. I could almost feel the eyes of B&Qs other customers boring in to me and the sound of strangers' chuckles ringing in my ears.

There, by the customer service desk, looking like a six-year-old who had lost her father, was my wife. I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Had the words "I'm going to the fencing section," really been that cryptic?

Having eventually sheepishly left the store, we laughed at the ridiculousness of what had just happened, Mrs B putting her failure to remember details and over zealous PA usage down to 'pregnancy brain.'

Researching a little further in to this it seems that there is some debate over whether pregnancy or baby brain exists. SEE FOR YOURSELF HERE.

However, we have little doubt in our household and won't be returning to B&Q any time in the near future.

Ebeneezer good

Mrs B and I lay in bed last night reading random names aloud from a weighty babies' names book. We were looking for any kind of a reaction or sign from our unborn child as to a preference when it came to his/her name.

Having trouble narrowing down our choices - thanks mainly to our award winning indecisiveness (it takes us an hour to decide on tea or coffee) - we had agreed to put the ball in Mini B's court.

Working our way through the alphabet we passed A, B, C and D with very little reaction other than the odd tiny kick or tickle, more I feel in irritation than anything else. However, when we got to E and one name in particular all hell broke loose.

Upon hearing "Ebeneezer" the little one unleashed such an almighty kick that, for the first time, we could very clearly see what was, we assumed, a tiny foot attempting a Jackie Chan impression in the womb.

It was an incredible sight and one that triggered fits of laughter as repetitions of Mini B's new name produced the same result.

So, it seems that we are a few months away from giving birth to an Ebeneezer, no doubt on the same labour ward as a Tiny Tim, Bob Cratchit and Jacob Marley!

Tuesday's Twits and Pieces

Here's the first of a regular series of posts showcasing a few of the things that have caught my eye during the day, courtesy of Twitter (incidentally, you can follow this blog @cluedupdads).

Exciting new website coming our way from @everyday_dad for newbie dads, yet to be launched but bookmark www.everydaydad.co.uk now.

@DadsMM, meanwhile, spotted this scoop on Tiger Woods' love child, not strictly dad related, but fascinating nevertheless http://nit.ly/culgeg

@TheBabyBook is promoting the first ever Fathers' Story Week, a great campaign to get dads reading to their kid http://bit.ly/90vxvk
@childrenstrust is looking for raffle prizes

@foreveryourdad is 21 weeks + 1 day pregnant, well his other half is, five days behing Mrs B!

Join us on Twitter @cluedupdads and we'll post your posts here!

Flip flop flop

Everyday in the UK a well intentioned new report tells us what we should or shouldn't be eating or drinking, what previously harmless element of our life is now potentially life threatening, or how our money is being frittered away on a bad investment. And today is no exception.

According to the good fellows at the Society of Chiropodists and Podiatrists, pregnant women should now be thinking very carefully about what they wear on their feet. However, it's not just high heels and stilettos (or are they the same thing?), apparently it's also now not safe to wear ballet pumps, flip flops and Ugg boots. The latter obviously sending shockwaves through Sloane Square and down the King's Road.

A study of 1,000 pregnant women has found that the offending footwear doesn't provide the right amount of support and can lead to all kinds of foot-related problems, even increasing the likelihood of falls. As a rule, says the study's chief foot professional, women should be wearing shoes with short heels of no more than 3cm.

So what do we make of this? Should we be binning all the wife's heels, flip flops and boots? I fear there may be recriminations if we did so, but would it be for the greater good? Why not try it, and then let's see how many of us survive to tell the tale.

Pay attention Sam Cam, time to ditch those heels!