Milk monitors unite...

Back in my primary school days I was a proud milk monitor. Each and every morning I would distribute third pint bottles of milk to thirsty infants with aplomb, relishing my responsibility as chief supplier of dairy products to the young and basking in the glory of my position. If there was milk to monitored, I was the man to do it.

However, it wasn't all small straws and milky moustaches. I do remember dark days in my milk monitoring career, most notably when one Margaret Thatcher ruled that it was to be no more, reducing a nation of monitors to lowly pupils who - come mid-morning - were left pining for something to distribute to their peers. Handing out workbooks or wiping the blackboard just didn't compare, it was like asking an astronaut to drive us a bus.

So I was delighted to read today that the coalition government has scrapped its plans to cut free school milk for the under-fives. Not only will the news come as a huge relief to the thousands of monitors and wannabe-monitors out there, but it also shows that, at a time when savage cuts in public spending are expected across the board, someone, somewhere has drawn a line and said no to school milk being on the culled benefits list.

I just hope that the decision was made for the right reason, namely the health benefits of milk for young children, and not purely because our new Prime Minister doesn't want to follow in the footsteps of his 1980s predecessor and be seen as a modern day Scrooge.

As for my own milk monitoring career, sadly it didn't progress beyond primary school, although I do now occasionally find myself monitoring the odd beer with similar levels of enjoyment.

Anyone for a pinter?