Name and shame

Blessing your offspring with a crazy, off-the-wall name is part and parcel of life as a modern day celebrity. Apple, River, Fifi Trixibell and Moon Unit have all stemmed from the loins and over stimulated minds of the likes of Frank Zappa, Bob Geldof and Chris Martin. Indeed, a Times poll of the 50 craziest celebrity names also includes such gems as Bluebell Madonna and Audio Science.

It seems the celebrity formula for deciding on a moniker for your A-list newborn is simple; glance out of the window, note down the first thing you see and then couple it with whatever you're listening to on your iPod. Thankfully, as Mrs B and I are not celebrities, we can ignore the formula and refrain from christening our son or daughter Scaffolding Radio Two.

It has been with some dismay today, however, that I have read of the tragic case of children being taken in to care in America after their parents gave them the names Adolf Hitler Campbell and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation. Worryingly, however, the case only came to light after a shop refused to decorate a birthday cake for little Adolf.

It's clear from the report that the children's parents had psychological issues, but it does beg the question as to why authorities didn't act sooner, and surely the parents would have had to register the children's names somewhere and in the presence of someone?

I can only hope that the children are allowed to change their names, for their own safety and sanity more than anything. I can't imagine life for Adolf will be that great if not. He may struggle if he ever planned a summer vacation to Europe for starters, and he'd have to prove himself more charming than Casanova if he ever hoped to snare a Mrs Adolf Hitler.

As for Mrs B and I, and in case any of our relatives happen to be reading this, you can rest assured that we haven't included any famous dictators on our shortlist.

Mind you, and now that I think about it, Scaffolding Radio Two does have a certain ring to it.